


Hope is a dangerous thing

by StarfishChan



Series: Two sides to a coin [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, little bit depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8897269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarfishChan/pseuds/StarfishChan
Summary: Allen is broken after the 14th causes him to go blind. Kanda is the only thing holding him together at this point.





	

He had always been there, a reassuring weight against my back, a warm presence on nights when the fear got too much. The forever darkness surrounding me causing these demented figures of once had been a feeling of hope, safety and love. The nights sometimes got so bad that I would wake, crying out for something, I didn’t quite know what, maybe the lost family I once had at the order. He would wake with me and hold me. Covering my broken figure with a promise of something. Hope, that one day I would be put back together. Reassurance, that he wouldn’t abandon me because I was broken. Love, that he had stayed with me through all of this and was willing to stay for so much more. The promise was something that gave me a dose of dangerous hope. The promise on these nights were fueled on long days traveling, to get from the hell that was once my home. I didn’t hear much about the war the more we traveled, but I occasionally heard of the Noah being completely gone. Nights after I heard those things were the worst, racking my now frail body with tremors and causing my eyes to try and work again. Uselessly fluttering open to try to get my sight back, to turn back time to a happier place, where I wasn’t surrounded by the stench of blood. The metallic scent was familiar enough that I couldn’t tell where my smell ended and the blood’s started. I carried the rottenly sweet fragrance of death, bringing an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Death and I were close to one and the same, anyone around me for too long died. I was the accursed harbinger of death, the destroyer of innocence, the one who ruined happy families with the sight of death on the horizon. On nights like those, he would hold me but not the same way as the other nights. During the other nights, he would hold me like I was china, a fragile thing seemed to be ever fated to break because of an accident. Nights like tonight however, he would hold onto me like I was drifting and this hold was the only thing keeping me from following the rapid current. In some ways, it was. A way of keeping my fragile mental state from just shattering beyond repair this time. This feeling had been present for a long time now, since Neah had awoken and I had been betrayed by everyone. Breaking before wasn’t as bad, I had always been put back together by others but now it felt as if though I was only a harsh touch away from falling into oblivion. He would not only hold me but, when the tremors got so bad, I might as well have been a minor earthquake, he would sit behind me and cover my eyes. My worthless broken eyes that hadn’t always been that way. I had once been able to see like everyone else, and that made the loss of sight even more devastating. As he covered the sensitive skin over my now useless eyes, he would rest his head atop mine, and would sit there for a while, letting my tremors calm and the storm pass. And as I was falling asleep he would always whisper “I will be your eyes, and I will put you back together again.” I would feel some semblance of happy and then I would fall into sleep again, with his hold grounding me from the pictures of my past, and the fears of my future

**Author's Note:**

> Story idea I got randomly for anonymous characters, and so it fit D.gray-man so well I couldn't resist making it Yullen. Feel so bad for Allen though, he's so tortured in this fic.


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